Solution:

Isaac Newton picks up a piece of wood and lights it from the fire on the west end of the island.

He then quickly carries it near the east end of he island and starts a new fire. The wind will cause that fire to burn out the eastern end and he can then shelter in the burnt area.

(Funny Part : Isaac Newton survives the fire, but dies of starvation, with all the food in the forest burnt )

Solution:

Assassination
(Ass ass i nation)

Solution:

Liquid state

Solution:

This

Solution:

Because seven was hungry and 'seven ate nine' (7, 8, 9).

Solution:

They're both in the middle of wa'T'er

Solution:

I(1) + ate(2^3 is 8) + Some(Sum symbol) + Pie(Symbol)
= I Ate Some Pie and It Was Delicious

Solution:

A Hole

Solution:

The man was playing Monopoly and when he rolled the dice he landed on a property he could not afford to pay the rent on.

Solution:

Start singing the Happy Birthday song and the lion will run towards the candle and blow it.